Just One Of Those Days

I wrote this on Thursday in my moment of frustration: 


It's one of those days.
Not a bad day.
Not a particularly good day.
Just one of those days.

I've got stuff I need to do for my church calling, but I can't really do any of it yet - waiting on some things to come through from others.
I could make phone calls but my kids are so rowdy there's no way I would be able to hear anyone on the other end... Let alone have them hear me.
The dishes could use some cleaning but I'm already dead tired of cleaning the rest of the house and my rationalization that I've done enough cleaning in one day is winning.
Looking at my overly rowdy kids today, I think I should take them to the park to play! But I don't have a vehicle to do that... I guess we could walk... Only I forgot to get the stroller out before Daddy went to work.
I'm slightly dehydrated so my energy levels are low already anyways, so the park is out... and my head hurts just trying to figure out how I'd get 4 kids under age 7 to the park without any kind of wheels.
The kids ate well today.
We've played and laughed together.
But other than that, we haven't done much of anything.
We are all still in our pajamas for goodness sake (and nope... I haven't even put on my bra today - ask me how much I care about that).

We spent a couple days with my in-laws whom I love dearly and couldn't be happier that they came to visit... But it doesn't matter how relaxed a visit from family is, it takes a lot out of you!
We said goodbye to them this morning and while I was sad to see them go, a part of me was yelling, "yay for a LAZY DAY!"

I tried to tell that part of me to shut it. It didn't listen.

So here we are.

In pajamas at nearly 5pm...
...waiting for daddy to come home from work....
   ......so he can join in on the lazy day party....

While days like today don't happen all that often, and even though I have accomplished a lot, (my kids have been playing hard with me today, the house is clean, I got breakfast and lunch for the kids) I still feel like a failure today. No we didn't "get ready for the day". There are two loads of clean laundry waiting to out folded and out away and the dishes in the sink won't clean themselves for some reason. But does that mean I'm a failure?
I know it doesn't, so why do I feel like this?

It's simple really, I'm human.

Humanity is something that I think we tend to take for granted. We see ourselves as we think others see us.
In reality, if almost anyone came into my home right now, they would most likely see a lived in home that is relatively clean for having 4 kids there, happy children and a tied mommy who is doing a pretty good job. (Did I mention I haven't slept well the last few nights due to a teething toddler?)
Being human, however, I tend to be my own worst critic. If I knew no one would come over and I knew that I wouldn't have any company in the next 24 hours I would honestly probably be a lot more lenient toward myself today. But my husband will be home soon, and I have a friend coming over tomorrow morning to watch my kids bright and early so I can go to the temple.

I have an amazing husband who will come home soon and be grateful for watching over and caring for our children. He will be happy at how clean the house is (and to be completely honest, if it wasn't clean, he really wouldn't care) but I still worry about it. Tomorrow my friend would have the same attitude toward my house as she has toward her own, it's a house, and it's clean enough. Haha.
But I still worry.

These thoughts drive me crazy! I worry constantly over what others will think and what it comes down to really, is I worry that I don't think off it highly enough.

What kind of a person am I to not want to do the dishes?
How have you not even cared enough to get your kids or yourself dressed today?
What, you're too good to put clothes in the drawer?

All these things really don't matter. Because these thoughts are only Satan trying to bring me down. And for a minute today, he almost succeeded.

Because it's one of those days.
Not a bad day.
Not a particularly good day.
Just one of those days... And it's so hard! there's so much to do, I don't have any energy to do it and I really don't even care.
It would just be so much easier to give up.
Throw my hands up in the air and say, I QUIT!

But I have to remind myself, that yes it's one of those days.
Just one of those days.... Only one of those days! Just one!
Tomorrow will be different, could be worse, but most likely it'll be better.
Am I really gonna quit over one day?

Nope.
I'll keep on keepin' on.
Pressing forward
And fake it til I make it.

Why?
Because I've come WAY too far to quit because of just ONE stupid day...

Besides, we read constantly in the Book of Mormon, "It came to pass" it never came to stay.

Then, during conference, I had a moment of understanding that kind of defined what was really going on above:

Linda S. Reeves in her talk Saturday morning in General Conference April 2014 said, “It’s Ok if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The Only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer, and weekly family home evening.”

Like Sister Reeves, we try to do these things but they aren’t always the top priority. And, like her, amidst the chaos of everyday life they are sometimes neglected.

When we start focusing on these most important things, even if it means forgetting the chores, letting the kids run around in their pajamas and eating cold cereal for dinner and breakfast, after a while these practices will be more of a help and an enlightening tool that will allow the spirit in our homes and make all the chaos of daily life and home chores be lessened.

Stop beating yourself up over not keeping up with the dishes and letting your kids run around in pajamas. Focus on the better part and keep the spirit in your home. A bonus: the more the spirit is in your home the less you’ll feel guilty about the little things, because in the grand scheme of things, they won’t matter eternally.